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Beware of Strange (non-mechanic) Men in Red Bathrobes! And other strange tales...

So tonight at work a woman approached me as I attempted to clean up a mess of Budaberg Ginger Beer. It was a sticky, treacherous place to be, and why she chose to talk to me instead of one of the numerous other employees will forever remain a mystery. Her car had died, and did I, or anyone there have a set of jumper cables? If you know me, you know I am a sucker and a softie to boot, so you will nod your head when I say that although I didn't have jumper cables myself, I took it upon myself to find her some. I asked three other people until I found a set, and then somehow finagled myself into giving her the jump. Or attempting to.

I got my car situated and we hooked up the cables and....not much happened. She got some dashlights and little else. We thought maybe we'd just give it a few moments to juice up, and as we stood there chatting, up walks Red Terrycloth Bathrobe man. In the middle of our parking lot (this is a huge, very public lot, mind you--we're basically in an outdoor mall) is walking a middle-aged man, wearing nothing but the aforementioned bathrobe and some flip-flops. I kid you not. He approached us saying "I'm no mechanic, but I trained in diesel school...." Wait, what? So diesel engines aren't considered mechanical? But I digress. He proceeds then to tell us that I shouldn't have my car on to give her a jump, and that if he only had a pen light he could open up either of our batteries to look inside and tell us whether they are any good. Now it may be that I'm mistaken, and correct me if I am, but didn't they stop making the sort of battery that requires water (and therefore that you could check in this fashiong) about 10 or 15 years ago? After the "if only I had a penlight" lament, we got a little lecture on the best types of batteries to buy and how once he had to take his battery out and swap it with his buddies car to get 'em to work. It was very surreal. And I'm sorry I missed it, but apparently when he *finally* walked away, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a big-ole bottle of (presumeably) prescription pills. It was just odd. Bathrobe Man.
And the follow-up to that is that I never got her going...almost 30 minutes of jacking with it, and...nothing. I had to go back to work. However, a nice (and presumably sane--he was at least wearing "public" clothes!) young man came by and offered to take up where I left off. She returned the cables less than 5 minutes after I came back in, which leads me to wonder where the hell we went wrong, and if I should be concerned about my own battery.

So yeah. That was the big strangeness of the evening. And then I came home and captured these images for posterity:

Wherein Bucket shows his complete and utter disdain for the freaky amoeba ball. Could have something to do with the fact that we'd just put it on his face.

And then there is the other, happier, side of Bucket:


He was actually yawning, but it's more fun to think of it as a guffaw. :)

waiting...

for something big to happen so I can post about it here. We bought a bedframe, you see. A lovely Indian sej-style bed (4 posts/canopy/lots of dark, heavy wood). It's sitting in the spare room now, taking up just about every inch of available space. It's waiting for its mattress, which we bought yesterday and which should be delivered...oh, any minute now. They have another hour and a half to get it here. Oh, how I hate 3-hour delivery windows!

I will most certainly take photos of the bed when it is all put together and lovely.

For now...oh never mind. I can't find the camera cable to d/l (or would that be "upload"?) photos of the Bowflex Ultimate 2 which is lying in pieces on the floor of our front room. When you order these things, I don't think it ever really occurs to you that it they will not come fully assembled and ready to go out of the box. Or that you might possibly have to rearrange your entire living space to accomodate them. But at some point soon we will have our own little home gym and we will be sexy muthas. Soon.

A note!

The page I linked to is someone else's photos--I have nothing to do with that site except that I rode that trail this morning. I'm just stealing her intellectual property for my own purposes, since I forgot to take our camera. :D

Humbling

So this morning I got up at 6am to head out for a bike ride at Pemberton Trail. The main trail is about a 15 mile loop, and while not technical, has its fair share of deceptively easy climbs. I was feeling all mighty and good about myself being all pro-active and fit and all, until we pulled up to the checkin station and saw the sign: "Pemberton 50k Run Today". A few seconds after my jaw dropped, Scott (my tourguide) managed to calculate that 50k is about 30 miles. TWO LAPS around the trail. Running. Shortly after we started out, we started seeing the runners coming our way. They were just finishing up their first lap and most of them looked like they were just warming up. They all greeted us cheerfully; some of them were chatting casually with each other. I mentally took a step or three down from my high horse. I knew I'd be pooped after one lap--on my bike. These folks were slogging up and down the hills and through the sand strictly by their own propulsion (is that a correct usage of that word?)... I was humbled.

When I wasn't busy pulling over to get out of the runners' way, I was enjoying the views and the sounds of the crazy coyote chorus. The sky was blue and clear, the air was brisk, and yummy breakfast bagels awaited us at the end of the trail. It was a good morning. And it's only noon! I've got the whole day ahead of me.

We're going to play a bit, shop for a bit, and go watch the Ultimate Fighter Championships with some friends of Russell's. Wahoo!

Cell Phone response

Several people posted (Lurkers, unite!) with ideas on how to handle cell phone talkers in line to make purchases. While I find the idea of practicing my yodeling and/or shooting them with a waterpistol attractive, neither is really appropriate from my perspective as the girl behind the cash register.

What I generally do is treat them as though they are *not* on the phone, asking the questions I normally do, often in a louder voice than normal (yes, it is possible--no comments from the peanut gallery, please). I ask questions that require an answer--no nods of the head are allowed--and I make it plain that I expect answers. I don't ask those questions with an annoyed voice; I'm every bit as sweet with these jerks as the next person, but I do make it very clear that they need to turn their attention to ME--THE PERSON ABOUT TO TAKE THEIR MONEY!

That often is enough to get the point across and the offending customer will abruptly end the call, saying something like "The crazy girl at the checkout won't shut up; I'll have to call you back..."

Hey, whatever works.

Peevin'

1) Still, and always: people who talk on cell phones while they are simultaneously making a purchase. rudest thing ever. do humanity a favor and wait the 1 minute and 30 seconds the transaction will take to complete to make or recieve that call. And don't procreate.

2) people who let their dogs run off leash. they never seem to take into account the fact that dogs on leashes can become VERY upset at being accosted by a loose canine "buddy". or that at the least provocation the unleashed dog may bound into traffic...or just run away.

3) the fact that so few of my readers leave comments. or maybe I just have no readers. no. I refuse to accept that. damn lurkers! :P

4) working until 10pm and having to go back in to work at 7am.

5) people who NEVER EVER NO MATTER WHAT miss their breaks, even though others of us are busting ass to get stuff done.

6) needing 7 or more hours of sleep each night.

7) needing a job. period. and not being able to stay home and be a momma and go hiking with the hounds and take care of the house and just live.

8) not having any alchohol tolerance so that the Rockstar21 that I'm suckin down pretty much immediately makes me stoopid and overly chatty. and sleepy.... :D

Added Bonus!

Epsom Salt Bath = Super duper soft skin

(although it could have just been that the scalding hot water burned off the top layers of my epidermis, leaving the soft stuff behind...)

Jackie Chan couldn't hurt me more.

I imagine that being beaten up by Jackie Chan would be pretty painful. He's a badass. Strong, and quick, and unrelenting. I still think I would feel slightly better if I'd somehow gotten on his bad side than I do at the moment.

We--some random yahoo mtn. bike guy and myself--rode 13 miles today, at South Mountain. Thirteen miles doesn't sound like much, really, until you think about the fact that at least half of that was up hill. And all of it was riddled with rocks. And sand. And some more rocks. And a few errant suicidal chipmunks. No crazed Javalinas, though, which is a plus.

Anyway, my body aches and I'm moving much more slowly than usual (much to Russell's delight, since he can now smack my ass with abandon, knowing I can neither get away nor beat him up for it). I'm also feeling, mentally, DAMN GOOD. It's such a nice thing to get out and DO stuff. Not that I'll be able to do anything much for the next day or so, but still. :D

Epsom Salt Bath FTW!

Party Ducks?

Story of My Life: Poing!

No, I'm not a homicidal duck. I just get distracted easily.

Like now. I'm leaving in 15 minutes to go for a ride in S. Phoenix. I should eat, check my tires, load up my gear, finished getting dressed, take care of the hounds, and....stuff. Yeah. Poing.

Eleven Eleven

Delilah and I ran a mile today. Non stop. What a feat! Granted, it was a slow mile--between 10-11 minutes, but it was a mile run with no stopping save for the 10 seconds or so when I had to tie my shoe. The *really* exciting thing about it is that my heart rate barely broke the 160 mark. Two weeks ago when I started running, it would leap to 160+ within the first 15 feet out the door. I'm whippin this body into shape. If it doesn't fall apart on me, it'll all be good.

11:11 is when I logged into Blogger, in case you were worried by that cryptic title.

Nostalgia By Duststorm

Yesterday evening when I left work, the wind she was a howlin'. I had an immediate sense of joy and excitement, although I couldn't have told you why. I realised later that it reminded me of Oklahoma, where the wind really DOES come sweeping down the plain. Rarely a day passes there that there is not at least a gale-force breeze whipping things around. Driving is a fight for straight lines, ponytails and hats are the best bets for hair saving gestures, and rain and snow comes down nearly horizontally.
You couldn't have paid me to believe that I would miss any of that, yet when I walked out into the windy evening last night and my hair flew into my face, all I felt was glee. As I drove down the street, wrestling with the steering wheel and watching the "trees" whip around I felt so at home. I have missed the wind!
Today is proving to be as still as ever, but it's early yet. They are speculating rain by the end of the week, so perhaps we'll get a full on storm at some point. That would be icing!

should I be concerned?

...that after two weeks of "running" (more like jog/walk/jog walk) ever other day, I've actually *gained* weight? Someone please reinforce my belief that the flab is being replaced by muscle, which we all know weighs more!

...about that wierd catch in my right knee? it just doesn't seem right that it feels like there is a rubber band snapping inside it with every other step.

...that after sitting at the computer for about 15 minutes, and stretching before that, my heart rate is still 85bpm, according to the Garmin?

I probably should be concerned about all of these things, but I'm not going to get too worked up about it. It's Friday, after all..

Why I love the Fat Cyclist

I've got nothing clever to say. Leave that to Fat Cyclist. Be sure to go back and read the original posts to get the full story.

genious comedy, Luxury body or no....

Blogger vs. Paper Journal

I haven't been here in the past couple days because, well, I haven't really had anything to say. I feel that when I post here, I should have something funny or profound, or at the very least interesting to write. It's different with a paper journal--my brain sort of wanders and I write down whatever pops into my head. It's usually incredibly mundane stuff, but it sort of helps me sort through all the goo. I feel more on the spot here, and of course knowing that I have at least a handful of writers doesn't alleviate the pressure.

I tossed a paper journal into my xterra a few months ago, meaning to use it for jotting down random thoughts, grocery lists, etc. It got chucked into the back soon after, and I forgot about it until earlier this week. I pulled it out on my lunch break at work and scribbled for almost the entire 30 minutes. It's amazing the kind of crap that spews from my brain when I let down the gates. Probably for the best that you're not subjected to it! At any rate, this is just to say that as a sort of after-resolution, I plan to start journaling on paper more this year. Get my head straight. Maybe some of the more cohesive entries will be transposed here.

HGTV Dream Home 2006

I've gone so far as to make HGTV my internet home page for the next month or so, just so I'll remember to enter EVERY DAY to win the HGTV Dream Home 2006. It's yummy. I get a little misty-eyed thinking of all the wonderful singletrack mt. biking trails I would have access to!

Pet Owners!

Contaminated pet food kills dozens of dogs - Pet Health - MSNBC.com

Please read this article and spread the news to your pet loving friends! Their dogs may be having undiagnosed problems from eating this dog food.

Go See The Ringer. Seriously.

Go see The Ringer.

I'm not kidding. I was appalled at the idea behind this movie when I first learned about it. I used to worked with developmentally disabled adults, and found the whole premise disgusting. Then, a few weeks ago, I was having my tires balanced and while I waited I chanced upon an article about the movie in one of the sports magazines laying around. Turns out the film is not only sanctioned by The Special Olympics, the Chairman of the Board of the SO was the Executive Producer. A great many MR athletes/actors are in the movie--including Leonard Flowers and The Kids of Widney High.
Go here and check out the "Behind the Scenes" featurette. One of the best bits is a SO Tech Advisor talking about athlete reactions to Johnny Knoxville playing the lead role of the film. They thought it was a great idea--because the people that watched Jackass were the most likely candidates to abuse people with mental retardation. They felt that if he could draw that crowd to a movie like this, those folks might learn to treat them with more respect.

I hope that is the case--and I think it might just work.

If My Dogs Were Superheroes...

As you probably know if you are rl friend or just a regular reader, I have two dogs. They are both AMPB Terrier mixes, and are just as sweet as can be, as you can plainly see from this photo. Look at those faces! Angels, I tell you!


I do think, though that either of them could be great superheroes, fighting bad guys not with great agility and nasty growls, but with their own special skills.

Bucket (the white and black one) would stop bad guys in their tracks by projectile vomiting. He would then subdue them into admission of any crime by whining incessantly until they couldn't take it any longer.

Delilah (the tiger) would incapacitate the baddies by placing a tiny, well clawed paw directly on the tenderest part of their foot. She would then proceed to get confessions by licking that foot torture style until the crooks spilled their guts.

Yep. My dogs would make great superheroes. Problem is, they are currently wasting their talents on the good guys! *sigh*

There are Days...

And there are days....

It's an unoriginal post title, apparently, but why not do some recycling? It does good across the board. It's not just for cardboard anymore!

But....I digress.

It's the second day of 2006 already. My how time flies. I will be 36 years old this year, so my list of resolutions has become something more akin to a "To Do" list. We have these books at work, admonishing the reader to do these 100 Things before they die, or see these 1000 Places. I think they have given me a complex of sorts, even though I refuse to open them for fear of finding out how much more I need to get done in the next 40 to 50 years.

So I've made my own little list of things to do in the next year, and it goes thusly:

1) Learn (again) how to knit. My mom tried to show me a couple of years ago, but I put it down for approximately 30 mintues and never figured out how to get started again... My friend Shannon writes endlessly about her newfound love of knitting, and posts pictures of yummy scarves that she apparently whips up in minutes. My mom makes these fabulous little cloths, and equally yummy scarves in addition to full-on afghans. As if I don't have enough half-finished projects laying about the house...I want to KNIT!

2) Go to Sedona/Grand Canyon/Flagstaff. I've lived here just over a year and haven't seen these places? Enough said.

3) Enter a mountain bike race and/or triathlon. Because if I enter, I will *have* to train for it. I'm much to cheap to pay the entry fee and then blow it off. And then there is my pride...

And then there are some other listy things that are not, strictly speaking, resolutions but yet somehow qualify.

1) Buy a road bike. (all the better to train and compete for that triathlon)
2) Buy bike racks. (for storing multitudes of bikes in the garage and for schlepping around said bikes to aforementioned races)

Finally, a serious committment to self-betterment, in the true spirit of resolutions:

Start treating food as fuel instead of a shoulder to cry on or bullhorn to shout about life's injustices. 80% of the time. A girl's gotta have her chocolate, after all....

Happy New Year!